History jokes
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
Answer: 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 5 seconds.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
Memes
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
What do Cavemen poop in?
A Neander stall.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims. 100 stories in 11 seconds.
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!