History jokes

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.

I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.

Adolf Hitler + Vladimir Putin = Vladolf Putler.

My dad died in the 9/11 attack. He was a good pilot.

Arabs: WHO PUT THAT TOWER THERE... we must destroy it!

If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.

What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?

The Titanic.

Why does Hitler need glasses?

Because he could Nazi.

9/11, also known as the day football stopped.

In America, you fight Ukraine.

In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?

"Did I leave the stove on?"

Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?

Because she’s dead.

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?

Look at that dino-sour!

How did the British lose the War of 1812?

They were out-Britshed.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?

Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.

Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.

He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.

A note for my History Teacher:

Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.

How do you know America's bad at chess?

They lost 2 towers!