History jokes
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
What is another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
Arabs: WHO PUT THAT TOWER THERE... we must destroy it!
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
How do you know America's bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers!
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.