History jokes
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
Memes
As with Sonic The Hedgehog
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.