History jokes
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Memes
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
I rate you a 9/11.