History jokes

Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.

It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.

Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."

"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."

How is slavery different from Pokémon?

The types you can have.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?

Osmoses.

Why is Hitler better than Biden?

Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?

Elton John is still standing.

If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?

What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?

One was planned.

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

My dad died in 9/11.

He was the best pilot I ever knew.

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?

They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.

What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

Smash.

(Get it?) 9/11.

When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.

When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.