History jokes
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.