History jokes
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?
One of the missions succeeded.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
My granddad killed Hitler.