History jokes
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.