History

History jokes

Tattoo

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

9/11

What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

Smash.

(Get it?) 9/11.

Pizza

Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?

They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.

Jenga

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

Memes

World Trade Center

What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?

“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”

Assassination

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

Difference

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

Indian

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

9/11

If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?

Bomb

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

Twin Towers

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?

Elton John is still standing.

Depression

Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.

Twin Towers

Why were the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.