History jokes

I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.

What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?

The Twin Towers got fucked.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was flaming hot wings.

What does the Titanic sell most?

Icebreakers.

A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.

And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"

Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."

Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"

Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"

Who are the fastest readers in history?

9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?

Stab it 23 times!

"Can't go under it, can't go over it, we gotta go through it!"

What kind of pizza did the twin towers order?

Two large plains.

Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.

Why is America so bad at Clash Royale? Because they lost 2 towers.

What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?

"Did I leave the stove on?"

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.