History jokes
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
Wait till the end.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!
What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?...
"Catch you later!"
"I’m coming for you two!"
Memes
Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen and two towers.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because he next to 9 and 11.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
Why can’t American people play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
Why are Germans good at smoking?
They had experience with smoking.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
Why did the tall building fall?
It was September 11th.
Which freedom fighter do we say "good morning" every day?
Answer: Subah Chandra Bose.
"Subah" means morning.
I wonder if [I] would have rekt Hitler in a 1v1 build battle in Fortnite.
WORLDWIDE RAP: Takin’ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobi’s floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoul’s war, studied the Vatican’s lore, wanted to see Manhattan’s allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoli’s score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.
What is Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda organization's favorite song?
It's raining planes! Hallelujah!
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.
Why will America always lose in chess?
It lost its two towers!