Julius Caesar (salad) made easy.
"Watch out, there's an iceberg!"
Other person: "We will be fine."
10 minutes later, drowns, says, "We will be fine."
Captain of the Titanic: “Where’s all that f***ing water coming from?”
Why will America always lose in chess?
It lost its two towers!
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
They ordered pepperoni, and all they got was plane.
IX + X = XXI. So XXI is two legions into one.
My grandad killed Hitler. He was such a great man!
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.
Mohamed Atta would probably be pretty mad at these posts.
Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,
one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.
Why did Russia put war on Ukraine for more nuts?
Why did UK want Northern Ireland for more s***?
Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.
Why were people sad when John F. Kennedy got shot? All he got was head.
Who discovered Africa? Africos Nandos.
