History jokes
Once a knight was called a "kuhnigitt," that's because he was one!
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.
Memes
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
They ordered pepperoni, and all they got was plane.
IX + X = XXI. So XXI is two legions into one.
My grandad killed Hitler. He was such a great man!
Stop with the 9/11 jokes, people. They're just not gonna fly.
Yo mama so old, she got nostalgia for the Big Bang!
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost the Twin Towers.
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite song rn??
UNDAAAA THE SEAAAA - by the little mermaid.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
Why is 10 scared of 11 and 9? Because he's in the middle of 9/11.
Osama be like: "Fuck boys, runway is full, better use this tower!"
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
If 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, why is 10 scared?
(10 is in between 9/11)
