History jokes
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
Why does America suck at chess? Because they already lost their two towers.
What came before the dinosaurs?
Your hairline, because it's so far back!
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
If museums are full of dead things... Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
What’s the Twin Towers' favorite kind of pizza?
A: Plain.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?
In British chess I guess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without 2 towers.
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but only got plane.
SpongeBob did 9/11.