History jokes
What do you call a pregnant slave?
Buy 1 get 1 free.
What's black and white?
History.
I rate my dad as a pilot 9 out of 11.
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
Ppnutty68 is JFK's vice senior Ohio president.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it's in the middle of 9/11!
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
In British chess I guess they play without a queen...
But in American chess they play without 2 towers.
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
9/11 hahahahaha. Lawrence, I hope you read this!
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.