History jokes
"hipede hop hiped d the twin towers will be gone tomoreo at 8:43"
What’s the Twin Towers' favorite kind of pizza?
A: Plain.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?
If I had to rate the attack on the Twin Towers from the Muslims, I'd give it a 9/11.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.
Why are Americans bad at chess? They lost their towers.
What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)
iykyk
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.
The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.
Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?