History jokes

I hit on the Twin Towers. They were hot.

9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.

I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.

Why are Americans bad at chess? They lost their towers.

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.

What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?

It got a bunch of plane.

Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.

Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?

Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

The bomb.

The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.

JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.

I'd tell a slavery joke, but they've been flogged to death.

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.

What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?

They're not heroes.

White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*

Natives: Can y-

White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.

I guess in British chess they play without a queen...

But in American chess they play without two towers.

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.