History jokes

Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.

Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?

What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...

Michael Phelps can finish a race.

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?

A blast from the past!

The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.

Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!

So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?

Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."

Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

The bomb.

Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?

Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".

My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?

"Jenga!"

Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.

The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.

That is just plain wrong.

Why were the Twin Towers afraid of the New York Jets?

Because they are afraid of the jet.

Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"