History jokes
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
Your hairline goes so far back that Crown Burger was Crown Sandwiches.
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.
And that's what made him go down in history.
The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Statue of Liberty ain't even American, that b*tch is French!
"Welcome to the gulag."
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
What was the last thing that went through PH's head?
Water and smoke.
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.