History jokes

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

What is the difference between a black man and Jew?

One was born burnt.

What do you call a blind German?

A Nazi (not see).

I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!

Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.

I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.

But the punch line is too long.

What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?

Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.

Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”

Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.

I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.

When a clock goes forward, it goes "tic-tac," but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic.

What is the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?

NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!

When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

I heard that the Twin Towers have some plane DNA.