History jokes
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? They were only two.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 7 seconds.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?
Tower 1...
6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?
Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
They ordered pepperoni and got ✈️.
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is literally just a scoreboard.
Why are Nazis so good at soccer?
Because they're so good at shooting.
You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on!
I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler.
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.
What's the 9/11 survivors' least favorite team?
New York Jets.
Ready when you are, KK.
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.