History jokes
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He didn’t want to pay the gas bill.
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
Your hairline looks like it got burnt in the Civil War.
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
What do you call a blind German? A not-see Nazi.
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?
Nothing.
Why does the Tower of Pisa lean?
Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.