History jokes

Wy can't a dinosaw ror? Becase it losed it's voucal kord.

I have WWII in my blood since my great-grandfather killed Hitler.

Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?

A: Owwww!!!!!

You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.

You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.

Science gets you to the moon.

Religion flies you into buildings.

What would Martin Luther King be if he was white? Alive.

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?

Because it flew over their heads.

What do royals and hot dogs have in common?

They're usually in bread.

Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?

A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."

You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.

Answer: Nazi.

Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.

9/11 happened... right?

The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.

Where do you go to get the best fish?

A restaurant on the Titanic.

Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!

Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.

I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?

McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.