History jokes
What's black and white?
History.
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
'Cause they're dead.
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Hitler walked so Kim can run.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
A young girl was playing in the park with her mother when she asked the question, "Mummy, what's that building over there?" The mother looked at the prison, smiled, and said, "That's where the cotton pickers live."
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
What did the knight say when he went to bed?
"Good Knight!" lul
Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!
Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.