History jokes
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."
You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.
Answer: Nazi.
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
9/11 happened... right?
The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
My grandad killed Hitler. He was such a great man!
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
What's a cow's favorite war?
World War Moo.
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her.