History

History jokes

I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.

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  • How did pioneers name Canada?

    They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"

    That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"

    I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!

    Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?

    A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.

    I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”

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  • What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

    Their ankles.

    Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.

    For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.

    Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

    The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"

    Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."

    White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*

    Natives: Can y-

    White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.