History jokes
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
9/11 happened... right?
The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
My grandad killed Hitler. He was such a great man!
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
What's a cow's favorite war?
World War Moo.
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her.
I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!