History jokes
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
What do you describe Titanic as?
... Broken...
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
How are genders and twin towers alike? There used to be 2, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Why did you scream? Oh... Helen Keller tried to cook... 😨
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
Steel led to World War 2.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"9/11"
"9/11 Who?"
"I thought you'd never forget..."
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?
I can Nazi!
I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
Get confused with Confucius!
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.