History jokes
My grandpa was the goat, he killed Hitler! đ„łđ„łđ„ł
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.
He never talks about it.
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Bin Ladenâs kid comes sad from school.
âDad, I got an F in Geography class!â
âWhy is that?â
âThe teacher asked me whatâs the tallest building in New York and I said âEmpire State Building.ââ
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, âLet dad handle this one.â
Whatâs the only positive thing about Freddie Mercuryâs death?
The HIV test results.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Knock, knock.
Whoâs there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
[pause] You said youâd never forget.
Whatâs the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?
One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we donât talk about that.
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
Would it be wrong of me to yell âJenga!â or âTimber!â while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?
The people in the second tower, "I'm so glad that plane didn't hit our building!"
The second plane, đżđżđż
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, âWhose funeral is it?â
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, âI havenât decided yet.â
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.