History jokes

Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.

Article 4: the Titanic sank.

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!

What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.

Hit'em with the Ted Bundy.

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

No one.

Absolutely no one.

The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

In the morning at 6:30 AM,

Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

Me: Trump & Biden.

Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

After school,

Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

"She looks at her clock."

Teacher: And now I am sewed.

I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.

Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.

How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.

How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.

Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany.

HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.

"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."

"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?

Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.

Alen vs. Predator.