History jokes
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
Ready when you are, KK.
KK or Liv?
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?
Mount Rushmore.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
You're the reason the middle finger got created.
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
Who were the fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 95 stories in 10 seconds.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.
How did Helen Keller get punished?
Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.
Why is 10 so sad? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
The Titanic basically nominated all the passengers for the ice bucket challenge.
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
Nosy.