History jokes
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
You know how they said weight people can't jump? Check out the 9/11 videos.
Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??
Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!
My grandpa was in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.
Article 4: the Titanic sank.
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.
Hit'em with the Ted Bundy.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
No one.
Absolutely no one.
The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.
Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.