History jokes
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Who's the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and The Statue Of Liberty? The Statue of Liberty stands for something! 😂
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but only got plane.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
You've been hit by, You've been struck by, Planes!
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
Why does America suck at chess?
They lost two towers.
Helen Keller.