History jokes
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! đ
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Fßhrer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, whatâs going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, âGuess this isnât your day, is it?â
What's the 9/11 survivors' least favorite team?
New York Jets.
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.
Well, that was a blow up!
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
My dad said people shouldnât get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.