Him jokes

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.

The emo tried to high five the tree, and it left him hanging.

Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?

Because his parents wouldn't let him.

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

What do you call an orphan who likes football?

Because someone will actually give him something.

What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.

One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.

Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!

Why was the barber mad because I gave him a buzzcut?

The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

Why was the orphan so famous?

Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?

Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.