Him jokes

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.

Your mama is so stupid.

Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.

Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Where's freshfry when I need him? :(

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?

So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.

He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

Gwen, just take Tj as your boyfriend. Gah, just do it so he won't kill himself! Prince will be fine without you!

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.

My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.