Him jokes

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.

Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...

Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?

One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Why is Dawayne so small? Because his parents cut him up into small slices!

What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.

I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.

The emo tried to high five the tree, and it left him hanging.

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

Where's freshfry when I need him? :(

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?

So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.

He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwen, just take Tj as your boyfriend. Gah, just do it so he won't kill himself! Prince will be fine without you!

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...