Him jokes

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.

Friend: Do you know him?

Other Friend: Know who?

Friend: My dick!

A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.

RAID HIM https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZEAEVyTsAdnjawrdCkDu-A/videos

Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...

Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?

I saw Simba walking slowly.

I told him "Mufasa!"

My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.

Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:

"The doctor has now sent me the bill."

"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"

I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?

The guy that gave it to him.

I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.

I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.

I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.