Him jokes

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

Alphabet

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.

Uncle

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.

Orphan

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.

Cancer

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

Doctor

My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!

Orphan

Why did the orphan die?

He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.

Orphan

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.

Detector

Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.

Orphan

Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.

Orphan

Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.

Bomb

There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?

Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...

People

Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.

Couldn’t Be Me.

Emo kid

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...

Uncle

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Giraffe

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Hitler

Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.

9/11

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.