Him jokes
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?
Him: No, have you seen where it is?
Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.
Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.
If my cat were a cactus, doesn't that make him the catus?
If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?
"Not now, I have a headache."
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.
He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
I like trains.
*train hits him*
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
A Chinese couple had a black baby and named him Sum Ting Wong.
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.