Him jokes

What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.

Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.

Why did the orphan turn gay?

A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.

I love my job at the orphanage.

Make him read a book.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.

The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.

I bought a horse and named him Mayo.

Sometimes Mayo neighs.

What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.

Couldn’t Be Me.

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.