Him jokes

There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?

Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...

Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.

Couldn’t Be Me.

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?

Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.

What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

I bought a horse and named him Mayo.

Sometimes Mayo neighs.

How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?

He CRACKed up.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.

An orphan went on a game show.

The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?

Son: Why?

Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.

My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.

Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.

Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.