Him jokes

There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"

Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.

This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.

His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.

The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.

Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

Make him read a book.

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.

Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.

Why did the orphan turn gay?

A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.

I love my job at the orphanage.

I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.

The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.

Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.

Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.

Couldn’t Be Me.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.