so i was on the phone with a scam caller, he said he knew where i lived and would kill my children and wife jokes on him i already did.
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber Created by the Japanese Who speaks English And looks like a Mexican Jumps like a black man And grabs coins like a Jew
What happened to the blind man's son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn't know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.
I tried to get my bloood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said "The Mail Man died".
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. he said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded? I can Nazi!
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."
So we all know that old kids joke why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" She asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No,he hasn't either.
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda look like me.
My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question