Hes Jokes

He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction".

A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”

Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral? He went from The Fast And The Furious to Gone In 60 Seconds

A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek? Because he's always spotted

I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it. He was the best damn pilot in saudi arabia

During a phone call:

"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"

"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."

Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?

A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.

What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

"Why not?"

"He keeps peeing in the pool."

"Well, all kids pee in the pool."

"Not from the diving board!"