Her jokes
Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"
If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...
Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology.