Her jokes
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
when your gf invites you to her house to chill😏
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.
A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.
The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."
"You should tell your parents," I replied back.
The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.
Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
Her: Eat my ass!
Me: Yes, chef!
I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology.
Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.