Her jokes
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.
Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her:
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They put a plunger in the toilet.
Q: How many kids did Helen Keller have? A: None, the plunger went all the way up.
Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?
You: What?
Me: She let it go, let it go!
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.
In her religion, you NEVER pull out.