Her jokes

My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck a plunger down the toilet.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"

Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

An emo girl dyed her hair red.

Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?

Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.

Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.

Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*

Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"

There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

My girlfriend got COVID.

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.

I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."