Her jokes

Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.

Yo mama so fat, even Dora couldn't explore her.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Why were her hands purple?

She heard it through the grapevine.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.

“No, it’s curry this time.”

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

Yo mama so fat even Nationwide can't be on her side.

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.