Her jokes

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Yo mama so fat, Bill Gates went broke trying to buy her dinner.

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?

If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

I saw a girl crying. I asked her where her parents were, and she started to cry even more.

Man, I love working in the orphanage.

What is a redneck virgin?

Answer: A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.

She gave me a hug.

Yo mama so old,

her memory is black and white.