Her jokes

Dad

    • What's the difference between me and my mate...

    I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

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    • Girl

    • It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.

    But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?

    Mom

    • Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.

    Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.

    Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.

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    • Her memes

    Teacher

    • Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

    You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

    Sister

    • So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.

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    • Name

    • A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"

    His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."

    The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"

    "His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."

    The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."

    The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."

    "No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."

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    • Regret

    • Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.

    Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.

    Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.

    The end.

    Difference

    • What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?

    A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.

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    • Little Red Riding Hood

    • Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?

    Answer: 16

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    • Child

    • A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

    The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

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    • Blowjob

    • Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...

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