Her jokes
Yo mama is so fat, it takes two warlocks to summon her.
Yo mama is so fat, a rogue shadowstepped her and got a loading screen.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.