Her jokes
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sister pussy taste funny
What did Britney Spears’s left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they’ve never met
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.