Her jokes
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.
Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”