Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
Her Jokes
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck her hahaha 🤣
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.
My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."
Yo mama's so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.
The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
