Hearing jokes
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?
Joke,
Joke,
Jooooooooooooooke.
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.
Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?
He was rotten to the albacore.
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!