Hearing Jokes

Did you hear about the unborn fetus, oh wait, nevermine, it must have been aborted from the sight

"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

You: hey Alexa what is your gender? Alexa: I idenify as Michael Jackson and my pronens are...... Me: *hears it* and their pronens are he/he

Did you hear the news? Michael jackson died, because he choked on 7 year old nuts and balls

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex.... He died of hearing aids

Did you hear the passengers on the titanic invited yo! Momma and the titanic crew said man over board

Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close the casket.

When you ask your friend'Can I hear a joke. ̈ ̈Sure ̈ ̈What do orphans and orange peels have the same. ̈ ̈What? ̈ ̈They both get thrown out

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

I got pranked so many times once I saw two wheels rolling down the street I hear this noise I look behind me there's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming "HELP I CANT GO ANYWERE'' but I walked away I knew it was a prank

Did you hear about the Mormons?

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie!

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common?they both can’t hear their parents

Why can’t an orphan go to family dollar?they don’t have a family

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up u gotta fight the suicide squad

A dad and son walks into a strip club the people in the strip club said he was to young to be in hear so they had to leave 10 years later they went back there. They saw a small dancer the father walked over there and said the woman looked to small to be in hear her reply was...?

Boyfreaind- let go to bed Girlfriend- no Boyfriend- why Girlfriend-because you want sex Boyfriend- no i dont NEXT MINUT The nan could hear banging

Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher. Its [SODAPRESSING]

Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta a way. Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was a in-pasta

Bully: Ur Gay

Me: IM STRAIGHTER THAN THE LINE IN OSAMA BIN LADIN'S PLAN

Bully: * runs away and hears crash*

There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semin and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.

Now that's a hell of a ghost story.