Hearing

Hearing jokes

Bee

These are bee puns.šŸ

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!šŸ

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.šŸ

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

Student

Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Teacher: No?

Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."

Emo kid

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

Him

Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.

Bus

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- ā€œYou’re still holding the ladder, right?ā€

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Memes

Politics

A boy asks his father:

"What is politics?"

Father answers:

"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.

Our maid is the working class.

Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."

The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.

Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.

The next day his father asks him:

"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"

The boy says:

"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!

Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."

Dog

What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.

Trial

When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?

Surgeon

Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?

A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!

Roast

Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.

Student: Sorry to hear.

Teacher: Is anyone missing today?

Student: Your parents.

Couple

Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?

Joke,

Joke,

Jooooooooooooooke.

Player

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?

He woke up and found out it was true.

Blonde

Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.

Bridge

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

Job

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?

He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

Guy

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.