Hearing Jokes

Did you hear how Steven Hawkins Died? There was a mix up and he was dropped at pc world instead of A&E!

Did you hear about the restaurant there putting on the moon Good food but no atmosphere

Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...

Butt fuck it

A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.

However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.

So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.

He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.

The man replies, “No.”

The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”

The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”

“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”

“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”

Lostin Flowers14 days ago What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

i can make a word with those \DICK

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way

When your little brother hears noice from tour room and your the only one in it

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.

Did you hear about the terrorist comedian? He was actually quite funny... He just blew the delivery.

(I'll show myself out)

bully : oh look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt ay ay ay

Me : ding, ding, sing oh did you hear that its the elevator cause your not on my level .......

bully : u_u .......

crwd : Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

Do you want to hear a paper joke., Nevermind it is tearable

Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!

Want to hear a joke Ohio state foodball

a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that's my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask's whats that,the little girl says "that's my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask's the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try's putting his little red race car in her garage but it won't fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see's blood on the floor the mother ask's "what happened the little girl say's "we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit so i cut the back wheels off"

Yo mama so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing Let It Go.

Did you hear about the Mexican emo band? They're called "Hispanic at the Disco

Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?

No, what happened?

He couldn’t stop pootin!

dissabled man stands up blind man says you can stand? deaf man you can see?? mute person you can hear dissabled man you can talk doctor- what the actual fuck

One day when I driving around our children's school with my wife she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did we hear a loud, long scream.