Hearing jokes

Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?

Stole his slogan, just do it!

Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?

Joke,

Joke,

Jooooooooooooooke.

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?

He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?

He woke up and found out it was true.

Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.

When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.

Student: Sorry to hear.

Teacher: Is anyone missing today?

Student: Your parents.

Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.

Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?

A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!

In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.

Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.

What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?

You cook spaghetti with his blood!

Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?

He was rotten to the albacore.

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."