Hearing jokes

Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.

Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?

He got hearing aids.

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?

Stole his slogan, just do it!

"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.

But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”

Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?

Yeah, he Pasta-Way.

Wanna hear a construction joke?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.

Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.

Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?

Joke,

Joke,

Jooooooooooooooke.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”

I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?

He woke up and found out it was true.

What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.

When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?