What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" For 5 different men.
A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" the blind guy responds with "No I don't wanna tell it that many times.
Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply "Nothing, nothing! we're just uh, making cake" and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells "Get out! were making cake!" So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!" and she replies "OMG! Howd you know!?!?" and Johnny replies "Because, I licked the icing off the couch" ayyyyyy.
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
Are you the voices I've been hearing? because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning, he ate 12 year old nuts and a 13 year old wiener
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap? Wrapped around that tree.
what is the difference between a orphan and a deaf kid? they can't hear or speak to theirs parents that never came back
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down? Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Want to hear a joke?
Your face