Hearing jokes
Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.