Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
why cant you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? because the "p" is silent
What do you call a deaf animal? Anything, it can't hear you.
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
Did you hear the score in the Eqypt vs Ethiopia football game? Eqypt 8, Ethiopia didn't
When you’re walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming “They’re in the fucking trees!”
Two boys are talking on the bus Boy 1: I feel like i'm forgetting something. Boy 2: hey did you hear about that school shooting last week? Boy 1: oh that's right
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.
did u hear about the new german microwave? it has ten seats in it
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words, they wanted to hear them. They are: you still holding the ladder
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus? It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
Friend: wana hear a joke
other Friend: sure
Friend: pussy
other Friend: i dont get it
Friend: and you never will
Did you hear about that Muslim party? It was a blast
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books, Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza? It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before its cool.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen. Just how low can you get.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
Hey did you hear about the kidnapping?" "no." Yeah but then he woke up.
