Hearing Jokes

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

Why did the orphan go to church? To hear some "foster" Parenting advice.

Jeff did you hear ther making a film about Jimmy savile it’s a very touchy subject. Yeah I did Gary but did you hear the reviews on the bill Cosby film people said it was so boring it put them to sleep

What's the worst part of about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car? Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half

Two girls have a sleepover.

Karen: Let's go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it's early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" *Lauren hears noise* Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: *laughs* Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother Mikey*

What games would deaf people not be good at...

Simon says and Musical chairs

If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens?

I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?" Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?" Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning......he hate 12 year old nuts

dont you just hate when your the first one sleep at the sleepover and then you hear ''Prank em John"

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

mom tells her son to go to the other kid to walk to the kid just standing still to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car(but her son was blind the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap and the kid died because he couldn't hear he was deaf)