Transplant jokes

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.

I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.

I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.

Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.

I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.

Why do Republican men hate transgender people?

Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.

Father: "Son, you were adopted."

Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"

Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."