Health jokes
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
How do you poop?
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What's long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber.
What’s weaker than a daffodil? Mundy’s ankles.