Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
Health Jokes
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, do you take him to PC World or A&E?
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
