Health jokes
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
What do you call an epileptic in a swimming pool? A dishwasher.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
AIDS?
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
Swallow cum, not gum.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
Why do cheetahs have spots?
Chickenpox!
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations