Health jokes
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dyslexic.
Dyslexic who?
You.
When you have a bladder infection,
You're in trouble. 😜
My syndrome is down, but my hopes are up.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
What do you call an epileptic in a swimming pool? A dishwasher.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
AIDS?
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
Swallow cum, not gum.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.