Health jokes
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).
She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!