Health jokes
Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).
She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
So, a mom and a dad take their son to a therapist.
“What seems to be the problem?” the therapist asked.
“Our son thinks he’s a refrigerator!” they said.
So the therapist replies, “Oh dear, that must be a problem.”
“Yeah, he sleeps with his mouth open, and the light is really bright.”
When you breathe.