Health jokes
TDS? More like STDs.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?
A pork chop.
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
What song is sung when conceiving?
"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"
Where are fart bombs made?
Old people's arses!